One thing I'm realizing is that I do not emotionally deal well with big swings. Oh sure, the up swings are wonderful, but the down swings -- I'm not good with them.
I start to question my abilities. I start to wonder whether I really am any good at this game, or if I just get lucky during winning sessions. Knowing that the majority of poker players are losing players, I wondered whether this fit me too, and if my stats for the past 9-10 months or so (only began tracking live NL play, leaving limit out right now) are just an anomaly.
About a month ago, I had an incredible poker weekend - 2 marathon poker sessions that netted me over $1K. At $1/$2. I kid you not.
But then the next 3 weekends were horrid. Awful. I ended up below where I was before memorial day.
This weekend, though, I did 2 back to back sessions Sat-Sun morning, and had to buy in 3 times to the $1/$2 game to end with a $24 profit. And the $2-$40 spread game I went to I crushed: started with $100, walked out with $460.
I hated that I spent 14 hours playing to only show a $24 profit. That almost feels like a loss...
The fact of the matter is that when I start losing, I start to feel bad about myself, and start questioning my play and my abilities. And when I'm winning, I start to wonder how this game can be so easy, and whether I should step up to $3/$5 even though I'm not properly bankrolled for that level.
I know neither of these two thoughts is correct. Yet my brain still goes there. So I guess part of me believes these thoughts. The brain lying to itself is a scary thing.
Logically, I understand 100% that you can't have winning sessions every time: nobody does except the UP and AP Super User accounts. But psychologically I get way too down on myself after losing sessions.
First step in any problem is to acknowledge the problem, so I'm part way there at least :)
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Saturday, June 14, 2008
...and again...
Got another Round 2 ticket tonight. Final hand was the funniest thing ever.
It'd been 3-handed for a while: 1 big stack, and other dude and I were switching between 2nd and 3rd in chips (big swings). I had just taken a big hit and was down to about 55,000. Button had about 130,000 and BB had about 150,000.
Last hand button goes all-in. I've got Ad 3h. It's probably a calling situation, but I'm willing to take my chances next hand and be the pusher rather than the caller.
Then, the funniest thing happens: The chipleader in the BB, who only covers the button by about 20K, calls!!
BB shows AKs, button shows A9o; king on the rainbow flop seals the deal.
I was very surprised that the bb called there as they both had me severely outchipped, and I would likely be all-in bad during one of these upcoming hands. Guess he saw his shot, and took it.
All I had to do to get into the top 2 was fold!
So I've got 2 shots at round 2. I also got down to the final 13 in another, and busted in 24th in another.
It'd been 3-handed for a while: 1 big stack, and other dude and I were switching between 2nd and 3rd in chips (big swings). I had just taken a big hit and was down to about 55,000. Button had about 130,000 and BB had about 150,000.
Last hand button goes all-in. I've got Ad 3h. It's probably a calling situation, but I'm willing to take my chances next hand and be the pusher rather than the caller.
Then, the funniest thing happens: The chipleader in the BB, who only covers the button by about 20K, calls!!
BB shows AKs, button shows A9o; king on the rainbow flop seals the deal.
I was very surprised that the bb called there as they both had me severely outchipped, and I would likely be all-in bad during one of these upcoming hands. Guess he saw his shot, and took it.
All I had to do to get into the top 2 was fold!
So I've got 2 shots at round 2. I also got down to the final 13 in another, and busted in 24th in another.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Finaly
Snicker if you want, laugh if you must, but I'm psyched about this. This weekend I final tabled like 4 of these things, never once using the all-in preflop for the first 5 hands to create a mega-stack. Due to the insanity surrounding these things, I hunker down and play super tight. But when I got the hands, I bet the hell out of them. At one point I went from 2nd to last in chips, to 15th in chips within 10 minutes and 4 hands.
I'm only like 2 steps away from a Main Event seat!
Sunday, June 8, 2008
Forgot the cardinal rule
of tournament poker: Survival.
I took AQo up against the big stack (I'm #2). BB SNAP called my pot-size preflop raise.
*** FLOP *** [3c Jh Qc]
SB checks
gsw61515 bets 2,600
SB calls 2,600
*** TURN *** [3c Jh Qc] [Ah]
SB checks
gsw61515 bets 5,600
SB raises to 17,000
gsw61515: KT?
gsw61515: no way
editors note: when one correctly surmises one's opponent has the nuts, one should typically fold.
gsw61515: OK
gsw61515 raises to 20,335, and is all in
SB calls 3,335
gsw61515 shows [Ac Qs]
SB shows [Ks Tc]
*** RIVER *** [3c Jh Qc Ah] [Td]
gsw61515 shows two pair, Aces and Queens
SB shows a straight, Ace high
gsw61515: gg
gsw61515 stands up
I guess I was really hoping they called with AJ and hit the other two pair.
I always considered KT a sucker hand. Especially OOP, and esp. when you're the chip leader and 2nd in chips is in position with a preflop raise....
That being said, I still think that was a fold. Down to the final 10, almost at the FT, I'm dreaming of Vegas, and I think that was a clear fold in the hopes of surviving and getting my money in in a better spot.
I fold there, I still have an OK stack - smaller than average, but about mid-pack... Winner take all event like this, though, I kinda felt I'd have to take a chance that my fear was wrong and that they too turned 2 pair.
Guess I'm not playing in the WS0P this year....
I took AQo up against the big stack (I'm #2). BB SNAP called my pot-size preflop raise.
*** FLOP *** [3c Jh Qc]
SB checks
gsw61515 bets 2,600
SB calls 2,600
*** TURN *** [3c Jh Qc] [Ah]
SB checks
gsw61515 bets 5,600
SB raises to 17,000
gsw61515: KT?
gsw61515: no way
editors note: when one correctly surmises one's opponent has the nuts, one should typically fold.
gsw61515: OK
gsw61515 raises to 20,335, and is all in
SB calls 3,335
gsw61515 shows [Ac Qs]
SB shows [Ks Tc]
*** RIVER *** [3c Jh Qc Ah] [Td]
gsw61515 shows two pair, Aces and Queens
SB shows a straight, Ace high
gsw61515: gg
gsw61515 stands up
I guess I was really hoping they called with AJ and hit the other two pair.
I always considered KT a sucker hand. Especially OOP, and esp. when you're the chip leader and 2nd in chips is in position with a preflop raise....
That being said, I still think that was a fold. Down to the final 10, almost at the FT, I'm dreaming of Vegas, and I think that was a clear fold in the hopes of surviving and getting my money in in a better spot.
I fold there, I still have an OK stack - smaller than average, but about mid-pack... Winner take all event like this, though, I kinda felt I'd have to take a chance that my fear was wrong and that they too turned 2 pair.
Guess I'm not playing in the WS0P this year....
Can you get away from this?
Tulalip $1/$2. Pretty standard; there's really only two of us who are doing much 'playing' while it seems other 4 are only playing their cards. I've got about $260, cut off has over $300. He seems to be a pretty standard tight/passive player.
5 limpers to me in the big blind. I look down at KK, and say "Put ten more dollars in everyone," and raise to $12. 4 callers.
Pot: $48
FLOP:
Kh 7s Th
SB checks. I bet $50. Folds to SB who calls.
TURN:
[Kh 7s Th] 8d
SB checks. I've got a weird stack size now: pot is ~$150, and I've got $200. I'm putting the guy on a flush draw, but I can't just bet the pot here, and 1/2 pot bet would leave me with barely a barrel on the river, so I figure my best move is all in here: the pot is big enough to take down now, and if he wants to chase a heart then he's paying a horrible price for it.
I say I'm all in, and SB insta-calls. I turn over top set, and he turns over J9o for a turned straight.
River is a meaningless Q (just gives him an even bigger straight).
Can I get away from this hand? I can't check-raise the flop with 2 hearts out there, can I? Do I under-bet the pot? Do I massively over-bet the pot to make most any draw not worth it to call?
5 limpers to me in the big blind. I look down at KK, and say "Put ten more dollars in everyone," and raise to $12. 4 callers.
Pot: $48
FLOP:
Kh 7s Th
SB checks. I bet $50. Folds to SB who calls.
TURN:
[Kh 7s Th] 8d
SB checks. I've got a weird stack size now: pot is ~$150, and I've got $200. I'm putting the guy on a flush draw, but I can't just bet the pot here, and 1/2 pot bet would leave me with barely a barrel on the river, so I figure my best move is all in here: the pot is big enough to take down now, and if he wants to chase a heart then he's paying a horrible price for it.
I say I'm all in, and SB insta-calls. I turn over top set, and he turns over J9o for a turned straight.
River is a meaningless Q (just gives him an even bigger straight).
Can I get away from this hand? I can't check-raise the flop with 2 hearts out there, can I? Do I under-bet the pot? Do I massively over-bet the pot to make most any draw not worth it to call?
Saturday, June 7, 2008
freeroll fun
Killed a bunch of hours on FTP tonight, played a slew of Bracelet Race freerolls, and a smattering of PAD freerolls. Probably played in something like 16 or 20. Made 4 final tables, and final 2 in 3 others, and top 30 in a couple. If these were cash tournys I'd have made some bucks tonight.
I saw some of the sickest beats in those tournaments. I saw aces cracked by the oddest of hands not once, not twice, not three times, not even four times, but five whole times. Unreal. Twice were mine, and after witnessing my first beat and 3 others, I considered mucking preflop the next time I got them. Duh, I called. And got run down by J6. Check out the screen cap. Raised pre, BB & limper called. Flop was checked to me, I shove (was an overbet, hoping to block any flush draws), and get called in both spots:
I wish I could list the sick stuff I witnessed: people calling their stacks on the turn with gutshots, other craziness... I played solid, standard poker and got pretty deep.
Also played 2 SNGs. Busto in the first one just off the bubble, and 3rd in the other one, busted with AKo vs AKo and the guy catches running flush cards.
Tulalip tomorrow night!
I saw some of the sickest beats in those tournaments. I saw aces cracked by the oddest of hands not once, not twice, not three times, not even four times, but five whole times. Unreal. Twice were mine, and after witnessing my first beat and 3 others, I considered mucking preflop the next time I got them. Duh, I called. And got run down by J6. Check out the screen cap. Raised pre, BB & limper called. Flop was checked to me, I shove (was an overbet, hoping to block any flush draws), and get called in both spots:
I wish I could list the sick stuff I witnessed: people calling their stacks on the turn with gutshots, other craziness... I played solid, standard poker and got pretty deep.
Also played 2 SNGs. Busto in the first one just off the bubble, and 3rd in the other one, busted with AKo vs AKo and the guy catches running flush cards.
Tulalip tomorrow night!
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Dreaming of Vegas
Every day for the past week and a half, I've taken about 1/2 my lunch hour (actually my lunch half-hour, but whatever) and scoured expedia.com, travelocity.com, lastminute.com, cheaptickets.com, cheapair.com, kayak.com - and probably some others - for airfare / hotel deals in Vegas.
Funny because I'm not interested in playing a WS0P event (scratch that: I'd play if I had the dough, I just don't have $1500 to plunk down on a tournament, esp. with the lack of tournament experience I have over the past year), I just want action. I want to spend a couple days sleeping as little as possible, parked at a juicy (but admittedly low stakes) poker table for as many hours as I can stand, taking an occasional break to bake in the desert sun, and maybe even catch one of the overpriced shows going on there (Ka would most likely be the show).
I just want to be around action. Memorial day weekend was almost like this at Tulalip for me: due to the huge bad beat jackpot that was going on, there were a slew of action junkies playing all limits throughout the weekend in hopes of hitting it. Some of the juiciest games I've seen up this way in a long time. I put in two long sessions (12+ hrs Sat-Sun and 18+hrs Sun-Mon). It was beautifully exhausting, and wonderfully exhilarating.
I have such fond memories of Caesar’s Palace $1/$3 game: was playing more like a $2/$5 game but with mostly players worse than me. Or the Venetian $1/$2 game, which was even more passive than Tulalip games (hard to believe!)...
And of course I'd love to wander through the Rio and see the round-the-clock degeneracy going on.
I really wish I'd been more mindful of my bankroll: I've been using winnings to pay for stuff (classes, contacts, new shoes, concert tickets...), that I really haven't grown my 'roll into anything significant. I play on a very short bankroll according to most 'expert opinions,' which means that 3 or 4 really bad sessions could make it vanish.
If I hadn't spent so much of my roll on stuff I'd have a little extra to spend on travel to Vegas and have a good chunk left for aggressive poker playing.
We'll see after this weekend: if I end up with a killer session Saturday night, I'll contemplate heading down the following Sat-Mon for a long weekend...
Funny because I'm not interested in playing a WS0P event (scratch that: I'd play if I had the dough, I just don't have $1500 to plunk down on a tournament, esp. with the lack of tournament experience I have over the past year), I just want action. I want to spend a couple days sleeping as little as possible, parked at a juicy (but admittedly low stakes) poker table for as many hours as I can stand, taking an occasional break to bake in the desert sun, and maybe even catch one of the overpriced shows going on there (Ka would most likely be the show).
I just want to be around action. Memorial day weekend was almost like this at Tulalip for me: due to the huge bad beat jackpot that was going on, there were a slew of action junkies playing all limits throughout the weekend in hopes of hitting it. Some of the juiciest games I've seen up this way in a long time. I put in two long sessions (12+ hrs Sat-Sun and 18+hrs Sun-Mon). It was beautifully exhausting, and wonderfully exhilarating.
I have such fond memories of Caesar’s Palace $1/$3 game: was playing more like a $2/$5 game but with mostly players worse than me. Or the Venetian $1/$2 game, which was even more passive than Tulalip games (hard to believe!)...
And of course I'd love to wander through the Rio and see the round-the-clock degeneracy going on.
I really wish I'd been more mindful of my bankroll: I've been using winnings to pay for stuff (classes, contacts, new shoes, concert tickets...), that I really haven't grown my 'roll into anything significant. I play on a very short bankroll according to most 'expert opinions,' which means that 3 or 4 really bad sessions could make it vanish.
If I hadn't spent so much of my roll on stuff I'd have a little extra to spend on travel to Vegas and have a good chunk left for aggressive poker playing.
We'll see after this weekend: if I end up with a killer session Saturday night, I'll contemplate heading down the following Sat-Mon for a long weekend...
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