Stop speaking f*$# Sputnik!

I got to the Tulalip early enough Friday to play $1/$2: get there anytime after 8pm and the wait is over an hour. My wait, with getting there around 7:15, was about 10 minutes.

I really, really enjoyed the $1/$2 game. While I like the $3/$5 for the bigger profit possibilities, I don't believe I have a large enough bankroll to play optimally in that game. Making big river bluffs in that game is terrifying; in the $1/$2 game it's scary, but completely doable. I was able to play much more aggressively, and make moves that I would be way too nervous to make for larger stakes.

Some interesting hands, and some team playing I called out.

First hand: I sit down UTG with my $100 buy-in (max buy-in is unfortunately this low). I have 2 black fours. Unsure of anyone's tendencies or the "standard raise" (I usually play $3/$5), I popped it to $6 and got 3 callers. Before the flop, the BB tells me it's the biggest preflop pot he's seen there in an hour. 'Wow,' I'm thinking to myself, 'are they really that passive? This table is in for a shock then.'

FLOP: 4d Kh 7c. BB checks, I look around, say "What, there four of us in there?" and bet out $20. Folds back to the BB who automatically goes all in. He counts out his chips: costs me $37 to call, which I of course do. BB has AK, he doesn't catch a miracle, and I add about $75 to my stack on my first hand. Unfortunately BB leaves the table after this hand. Oh, well,

I watched a number of pots where this blonde woman is getting bullied around by the laggy table bully. I don't think much of it at first; they do end up in a lot of pots heads-up though. It was only after she moved seats next to him, though, that I realized they were together (married, bf/gf, etc).

I then started noticing an interesting pattern where if she entered the pot for a raise, he was calling 95% of the time. In multi-way pots if she raised, he would very often re-raise - other players would fold, she would call, they would check it down. Epitome of team playing, right?

Not yet.

I pick up JJ in the SB. Blondie limps from UTG+1, 2 more limpers, and then I pop it to $15 from the SB. Blondie calls, all others fold. Flop is all unders. I lead out $15, blondie calls. Turn puts a straight draw out there; I bet $30, blondie insta-calls. I have her on AK, AQ, or 10's here. She plays very straight-forward, and would be raising with a set (I'm pretty sure slow-playing a set here is not in her repertoire).

River is a J. If she flopped a set, I just rivered her. I do a quick calculation and bet out $75 (3/5 pot). Blondie lifts her cards up on the table, so her boyfriend can see them. She then turns to him and whispers, "Should I call?" and he vigorously shakes his head.

?!?!?!?!

Guy 2 to my right says, "Oh my god did that just happen?"

She mucks, and, feeling like I quite possibly missed out on $75, I say to the dealer, "Could we make sure it stays one player to a hand?" to which Blondie's boyfriend replies "We didn't do anything." When I recount the turn of events Blondie says she wasn't going to call anyway. Two more of the players on my side of the table had spoken up as well when I talked to the dealer. I then said to them, "I'm tired of watching your team-playing, but this was just completely and blatantly and obviously a hideous violation of the rules." Yea, I used the word 'hideous.' I'm pissed off. They both don't say a word.

After the next hand, they start speaking Russian to each other. Someone calls them out on it, citing the English only rule. At this point, I go to the floor, and tell them I want a table change because there is team playing going on at my table. They don't seem concerned about the team playing, but I get my table change in under 5 minutes. The table was becoming unfriendly, and I would have gone on tilt if I stayed at their table. Better to just move.

If I'm at their table next time I'm there and they start speaking Russian again, I think I'll quote Rounders and tell 'em to stop speaking Sputnik!